As we wait...

So we're now in the middle of a new Wait.... When we were trying to conceive, we had the 2 Week Wait, or 2WW - this is the time period between ovulation and the expected start of the next cycle. (A cycle starts when Aunt Flo shows up.) Now Scott and I are in the middle of the 3 Week Wait. This is the time period form confirmation of pregnancy to the first ultrasound at 8 weeks. Ours is scheduled for June 14th.

We're so afraid to hope for this baby. I keep getting emails that say things like, "Your Baby is the size of a Poppy Seed!" (week 4) to "the Size of a Sesame Seed" (week 5). It's so easy to get wrapped up in our little seed. But then it's so devastating when things go wrong. I almost bought a bassinet yesterday of a FB Sale Page. What was I thinking? Jinx, jinx, jinx!

That all being said (because I needed to say it to someone), the symptoms are interesting this time around.

With the lost pregnancy, the symptoms were traditional, but very severe - nausea, breast tenderness, raging emotions - everything was heightened.

This time... it's a lot like the second half of my pregnancy with Weston. I am so exhausted that I could fall asleep at any point during the day (not helpful at work, trust me.) I'm hungry all of the time. I get nauseated if I wait too long to eat, and I get icky when I do eat. My brain wanders away frequently, and I can go to the bathroom every 15 minutes if I think about it. ;)  So I feel worthless at work. And I have some huge projects for this summer, one due in 3 days. Oh and my blood sugars are all over the charts. Up, down, and back again. And the worst part, ok, almost as bad as the debilitating exhaustion, my legs are swelling - to the point of pain. I am drinking a ton of water and cutting caffeine, nothing helps. I fear I may end up buying Crocs soon to cover the ugliness.

I am hoping that since these are more similar to my healthy pregnancy, that everything is going to be great. :D

Surgery Results...

I met with Dr. Cooper on Nov. 30th.

I am healing just fine. Everything looks good.

Results: I had a lot of adhesions and scar tissue from my last laproscopy and the C-Section from my 2008 pregnancy. So, incisions had to be changed. While inside, Dr. Cooper removed what adhesions, etc. that he needed to move. My liver looks great. (Always a good thing for diabetics!)

In regards to the Endometriosis, there wasn't as much present as there was during the first surgery five years ago. Which I thought was great. That was all removed as well. But Dr. Cooper explained something - just a small amount can destroy my fertility. Basically, there was a study done. fluid was taken from the reproductive areas of 3 women. One had Stage 3 Endometriosis, another had Stage 1, and the 3rd was normal and healthy - no Endometriosis. 3 healthy, normal eggs were placed in the different fluids and fertilization was attempted. The egg in healthy, normal fluid fertilized without concern. The Endometriosis eggs did not fertilize at all. The fluid with a low-level Stage 1 and the Stage 3 Endometriosis was toxic to the eggs. It didn't matter how bad the Endometriosis was... it was still Toxic in any level!
Dr. Cooper also described Endometriosis in another unconventional way:
Think of a small pimple just out of reach on the back of your shoulder. In the mirror it looks small and inconsequential. But when you move your arm, shoulder, or back - you can feel the inflammation and pain in a huge area all around it. Endometriosis is the same... it causes Inflammation that affects everything near it. But removing even the smallest amount, we have removed the affects.

According to Dr. Cooper, I should have 9-18 months of good fertility. :)

I've been prescribed the Femara again to guarantee ovulation. We're going to try it on our own for the next few months. (Hopefully it doesn't take that long!) If that doesn't work... we'll go back for IVF.

things I learned yesterday...

It wasn't until talking to my Mom about the events of yesterday's appointment that I realized that I had learned some new things. Here are the 5 big things that I learned at yesterday's appointment with Dr. Cooper:

1. Propagation - Human being suck at reproduction. According to my doctor, if we humans weren't at the top of the Food Chain, we'd have died off a very long time ago. Here's some generalized statistics that Dr. Cooper threw at me:
              a.) Cows have an 80% chance of conceiving each cycle.
              b.) Pigs have something like a 60%-70% chance.
              c.) Human beings have about a 20% chance of conception per cycle!
   (This is why we have to be carnivores. If not, our species would die out.)
2. Ovulation and the Progesterone Test - So when the OB's office called and said that the Progesterone results weren't good because they weren't close to the 11 number, they were slightly misinformed. According to the Fertility Specialist, Dr. Cooper, ovulation pretty much occurs after the number 4. So, I shouldn't feel guilty. I probably did ovulate all those times I didn't conceive. (See #5 for more education.)
3. Sperm - When a healthy, normal man does his job, he releases 55 million sperm. 55 MILLION. By the time they find their way through the cervix, past the uterus, and to the Egg in the fallopian tube, there are (on average) only 8 sperm remaining. And then it's the fastest and strongest of those 8 who win the big prize: Cellular mitosis. ;)
   (It's no joke when you see the baby onesie that says, "I'm one in 55 Million." It's true.)
   Another reason why children are a miracle.
4. Waste - So, 54,999,992 sperm are considered "waste" since they don't make it to the goal line. I also found out that after age 35, 90% of the eggs released by mom are useless waste. Great... I have 2 years to get this thing going.
5. Toxins - So, this is more personal. Not only does Endometriosis cause scar tissue that can prevent ovulation and block eggs, and hormone issues that can also prevent ovulation, but the Endometrial cells also create TOXINS. And these toxins are fatal to eggs and embryos. Basically saying that if I am lucky enough to conceive, then the toxins can still kill that embryo.

So... that's your lesson from today.

If any of you have personal experience with IVF... can you let me know? It's a real possibility right now. And I need help making the big decision.  thanks.

the man who creates life

I had my first visit with Dr. Brian Cooper of Mid-Iowa Fertility. And I really liked him!

Dr. Cooper performed my HSG X-ray in 2007, as well as taking care of my follow-up care after my laproscopy that diagnosed the Endometriosis. And after my bad experience with the other partner in the practice, I am so thrilled to be happy with Dr. Cooper this time around.

So... we discussed fertility and all the blah blah blah that goes with it. And we went over my medical history, the changes, etc from 5 years ago. He was happy about Weston. And he correctly guessed that Weston wants a sister. :)

IVF - creating life

Most important part of this appointment: We have a plan. Either a laproscopy (again) to clean up the Endometriosis and surrounding scar tissue, or we bypass the endometriosis all together and do IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization.) So, we have a plan. I have emailed the clinic's financial person to find out how our insurance covers both procedures. And that will help us to make a choice. The surgery would take place on a Friday, and I should be healed enough to return to work on Monday. The IVF on the other hand takes a lot longer. 10 days of hormone shots, about as many visits to the clinic for blood tests and ultrasounds. Then 1 day off work for egg retrieval. (wait 3 or 4 days.) On day 5, there's implantation, and then 2 days of being flat. So potentially 3 days off work, plus the dr visits.

Either is a big decision. But at least there is a plan, and I am comfortable with the doctor. I feel very relieved. but mostly when Dr. Cooper shook my hand and said that he hoped I was pregnant right now, and that I wouldn't be needing his services. That's what a real doctor is all about - helping the patient. :)

Day 21

I got my blood test results back today. 8.5 on the Day 21 Progesterone Check. The doctor wasn't happy. They weren't happy 2 cycles ago when they were 10.5, and last month they doubled the meds when the came back at 7.5. So... Fertility Specialist scheduled for October 15. If this doctor doesn't work out, then I have to drive 2 hours either to Omaha or Iowa City to find another specialist.
There is a small chance that we conceived since I did see a positive test result, but it's unlikely. Ugh! Why can't this just be easy? 
At least the doctor prescribed another round of fertility drugs so at least I won't feel useless next cycle.

And we have Lift off!

Each test was photographed at the 5 minute wait mark... you can get a false positive result if you wait too long. I just assembled the "graph" myself for a comparative view.

Well... this is what my ovulation looks like. And I love the fact that if I didn't conceive this cycle, that I have a visual to take into whichever doctor I see, be it fertility specialist or OB-GYN.

That being said, I'm glad that I go these Wondfo tests. Because for once, I can See what's happening. And I can compare it with my temperature. Which has always been an incredibly confusing part for me. For example: On test day 1, my temp was 96.6 (about average for me.) On test day 4, it was 97.3, a big jump for me, so I thought that my ovulation was bad. When I did Test 5, I honestly thought it was going to be a bust. But to my surprise, it was the most clear Positive (+) result I had ever seen on an ovulation test, including when I was pregnant with Weston. My temp incidentally was 97.9, so it was constantly going up. On day 6, with a faint test line, which does not count as a positive, I held the 97.9 temperature. Day 6 was the day that Ovulation was predicted by the numbers. So, if I hadn't been testing, I may have missed more chances. Today, with a negative result, my temperature was 98.1, practically a fever to my body. 

(On a fiscal note 7 ovulation tests run about $15-20 on the shelf. That's an average of about $2.45 each. These Wondfo tests run about $0.28 each. I think it's worth it.)

So... Progesterone Blood Tests one week from today. We'll see how everything went.

On a personal note - wait, this entire blog is a huge personal note - anyway, I went to a Pure Romance bachelorette party Saturday night. And I spent some money... but the point is, I got some of the "Just Like Me" water-based, ph balanced lubricant. There, I said it. I got some assistance. And it helped out a lot. Having something to fall back on when TTC on a planned schedule was a total relief. And it added a little romance to our night. Which was a welcome change. ;) 

(TMI, I know.)