Fall has Officially Arrived!

... Not by the crisp chill to the air. Though I swear that 45 degrees could be -5 as far as my reaction to the cold is concerned; seriously, I'd be wearing skirts and sandals in April when it's 45 degrees, but in October? I turn the heat on and pull out my fleece jammies just to wear around the house. Yeah... I'm alternating between freezing and wanting the windows open every 30 minutes right now.
But no... the weather warns of Fall, or more appropriately, Winter. Cooking is the first sign of Fall. I'm not a person who generally enjoys soups. I pretty much avoid them after March, they just don't seem right. But once Fall arrives for me... I start up the big, huge pots and start blending. This morning I started my first batch of Fall Chili. Cut up 4 onions and let 3lbs of hamburger come to room temperature while whipping up breakfast for my boys. (Weston actually ate all of his scrambled egg. By choice.) So, I sauteed the onions and browned the seasoned hamburger. I added 3 cans each of diced and stewed tomatoes to the onions, as well as a large can of tomato paste (I love tomatoes.) And then I began to add my spices: liberal amounts of salt and pepper, 1/3 cup of Splenda (Lila adds a handful of brown sugar, which is amazing, but I'm out at the moment), some Old Bay, garlic, and finally Chili powder. Except when I splashed the Chili powder into the pot it didn't look quite right. Maybe that was because I grabbed the wrong container right next to it... yeah, I added a dash (ok, a large dash) of Cinnamon to my Chili. Cinnamon!
So... now I am tasting every 90 minutes, trying to bring it right back to ok, adding additional amounts of Chili powder, garlic, salt and pepper. I've added the 3 cans of rinsed Light Kidney beans and the seasoned hamburger. And it's getting better. Scott likes it, but says its sweet (which for once isn't true, it's the Cinnamon. My palette is pretty good lately, and I know the difference between Sweet and Cinnamon.) So... I'm going to check again. If the last re-seasoning didn't fix it, I think I will actually be adding some Louisiana Hot Sauce. Yeah, that's right, I actually have Hot Sauce in my fridge. Shocking I know. Wish me luck. It's really not that bad, but since I intend to freeze probably 60% of this batch, I don't want it too sweet upon reheating.
We'll see I guess.

Wish me luck! I am braving my first 90 minute car ride with Weston alone. Headed to Cedar Rapids to spend the night and Friday with Aunt Linda. Either this is a breakthrough or i am nuts for doing this at dinner time alone. Oy!

Weston playing in the Alligator stroller in Williamsburg! Guess we'll have to rent one of those next time. (probably next spring if this weather keeps up!)
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Post Script: Weston did fairly well. He started to fuss just past Newton (20 minutes from our start.) So I handed him some Goldfish and a sippy of water and we talked and danced most of the way there. All in all, it was fairly easy. I would do it again. The ride home yesterday was much better since it was nap time. So, he talked and then threw his water where I couldn't get it (and I have become a front seat contortionist, I swear) and finally passed out 20 minutes from our exit.

Weston fast asleep in the back of the car... 20 minutes from our exit.

Happy October!!!

Ok, I'm a day early. But I love Halloween! So, in honor of the new month tomorrow, here's a new background!!! and the Halloween card we are sending out. Enjoy the month!!!

It says:

When Dragon soar and knights' swords gleam, let luck be yours on Halloween!

hell hath no fury...

And Onthank has let go another 2 people today.
One of which was my favorite person here. I looked forward to seeing her every day. She is a bright (or was, since Onthank killed her spirit) person who always made me laugh. We had lunch today... almost every day.
They want me to take on the windows department too. I haven't done windows in 5 yrs. And didn't like it much when I did it.
I need a new job. Somewhere that isn't slowly dying.

I can't handle this stress or pressure anymore, it's no longer worth it.

a little Hockey on our mind...

Last weekend we took a few vacation days. Friday and Saturday were spent in Sioux City with Scott's Aunt Linda and Uncle Byron at the USHL Fall Classic Hockey Tournament. Saturday we drove up to Spirit Lake (30 some miles from Minnesota!)for Scott's nephew's beautiful outdoor wedding. A great weekend, but lots of time in confined spaces with a toddler.... Weston enjoyed hanging out with his great-aunt Linda Stanley, his favorite Hockey buddy. (He was giving his cousin Terry a strange look here.) They danced and cheered together, all in all having a wonderful 2 days of hockey.
Weston wandered over to the Muskateer mascot (a lion?) many times on Friday. He'd spot him, head towards him, then abruptly turn and walk away, only to follow him again minutes later. We finally handed him over, and as you can see, he was about to totally freak out. Until we started to walk away, then he was headed over again.
Once we were home, Weston jumped onto his toys in his Chicago Bears jersey and slick pants and watched the Cubs game. He's a good little sports addict just like his Daddy.

I'll try to upload more pictures, especially of the beautiful Spirit Lake scenery as soon as possible.

inspiration? closure?

I tend to dream a lot. Every night, sometimes multiple dreams. Always in color. I've had the same dreams for multiple years, not always a comforting thing.
Last night I had a dream so vivid that I woke up crying. And was visibly upset for hours after waking.
I dreamt that I was travelling with my sister Shannon. No husband, no baby. I knew they were in the picture; I was sure that they were safe together. Shannon and I were rushing to get somewhere. We were pushing through throngs of people in South Beach, Florida. We had to get to Miami. Everything was in the house on the beach in Miami. Shannon and I kept pushing through people, constantly being jostled and shoved backwards. 2 steps forward, 1 step back.
Finally the crowd seemed to crack open and Shannon and I rushed through. We raced across boardwalks and beaches.
Finally we came to a solitary beach. There were no tourists or bathing beauties. There wasn't a sound except for the crashing of the waves against the shore. Standing alone was a single house, more a cabin. We walked onto the boarded walk, moving to the front of the house. There were open windows from floor to ceiling in the 2 single rooms facing the ocean. We walked in the side door, immediately into a small foyer. From the doorway we could see into the far room. There were shelves on the far wall stocked with dry goods, a counter with a sink below the shelves. I could see my brother's legs hanging over the side of a chair and his cigarette dangling from his fingers, ash about to fall. I could hear the hum of the television as he sat there.
Immediately to our left the foyer ended and opened into a single bedroom. There was a large (king?) bed with dark sheets and an old quilt. Buried under the sheets was a human form. We crept up to the bed. Lying with the covers pulled up to her chin was my Grandma. My died-twenty-years-ago Grandma.
I knew that she had died. I also knew that Nathan had found her and brought her here. Shannon and I had rushed here because Nathan had called us. I crawled into bed with my Grandma. Shannon climbed in on the other side. And we held her. And we talked to her. She never talked to us. She couldn't seem to utter a word. She seemed exhausted and confused. I remember Shannon telling us that she was going to talk to Nathan and find out where Mom was. She got up and I heard the inconsistent murmuring of her and Nathan's conversation. Nathan sounded shell-shocked.
Grandma started shivering, so I pulled back the covers and prepared to climb in to warm her. What I saw was my Grandma pulled into the fetal position like a marionette wearing a belted navy colored shirt dress. She wasn't wearing any shoes or hose. I climbed in and tried to pull her close. She curved into me the way that Weston does, slowly nestling in.
My next thought:
Thank you. thank you, God for giving me back the one person we all need to make everything better.
And I woke up immediately after that. And I woke up crying. And I have been heartbroken all day. But once this overwhelming feeling of sadness gradually dissolved away, I began to feel better. I felt like I had been given a brief visit. That I got to hold her and love her once more. It still sucks, but I felt like I was given a glimpse. And that she was ok.
A reminder that she was always with us, and always would be. There's comfort in that.

getting ready...

We tried on the costume and he's about ready!!! I can't believe my baby will be able to walk to the houses and get his own treats this year!!!

My Dragon Baby!!!