soon, I promise

I promise to write again soon. I haven't abandoned my favorite hobby. I am just so busy and tired. Between mom, and work, and moving... I am overwhelmed. So... I will be back soon. I promise.

For now you will have to settle for a picture of Weston with Dr. Mandy, our favorite Chiropractor. Weston has become a dream patient. And he's been doing this since he was a week old. First time on the big table though. Maybe a future doctor???

weekend, recipe

We are taking a break this weekend. Friday, Scott and I are both on unpaid furloughs. Well, sort of. I am working from 8-10:30 to help cover for my time spent with Mom last Wednesday. Anyway, we plan to be on the road by 11:30, on our way to Sioux City.
We're going to be taking Weston to see the Muskateers (Hockey) games on Friday and Saturday night with Scott's Aunt Linda and Uncle Byron. I even heard a rumor that Scott's cousins will be joining us Saturday and that we may be sitting in the box seats with little living rooms and kitchens. I love sitting up there.
Scott's mom Lila is coming to visit Saturday afternoon. Weston should be sufficiently spoiled this weekend. And, as always, my goal is to leave by noon on Sunday so we can keep working on packing up the garage.
A thought for the diligent readers: I am thinking of blogging about Music ADD... I have it. I don't think it's a real condition, but it's real in my life. And I have some thoughts on it. Do you?


Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. I used to celebrate the holiday. I mean, my name is Erin and I have a sister named Shannon. Hello? It only makes sense. Even if Shannon looks Irish, but we're not Irish. :) Sometime I will have to tell you all about my favorite St. Patrick's Days. Both in Chicago. Anousha was at both of them. but they were 5/6 (?) years apart. So much fun.
Anyway, with a child, especially a little one, there isn't a whole lot you can do except dress them in green and try to give them some Irish culture. Last year we had Potato Soup. This year I thought we would try Shepherd's Pie.
So... I took this recipe for Easy Shepherd's Pies from Real Simple. And then I doctored it, based on the other recipes I'd looked at. And it turned out pretty good.
So, if you want it, here goes:
Print the recipe here.
I would up the ground beef to 1 1/2 pounds.
I sauteed half a red onion in White Cooking Wine.
Once soft, I added 1 can of Carrots & Peas (together in the can) and 1 can of Whole Kernel Sweet Corn, both cans of veggies rinsed in a colander and drained. (I also wanted to add Mushrooms, but I was out.)
I added 1 1/2 cloves of Minced Garlic to veggies.
Added these spices: 1/2 tsp each of sage, thyme, and paprika.
I upped the ketchup to just over a 1/2 cup, and 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire Sauce.
I gently mixed all these together and put them into a casserole dish. Then I topped them with the potatoes and yes, I used the optional cheese (Weston threw it in for me.)

I cooked 17 minutes instead of 10... . It was great. Even better for lunch today. I will make again.

Next time changes: More garlic, salt and pepper; mushrooms; and my dad said that he adds 1/2 a small pkg of brown gravy mix (powder only) to the hamburger. While it's baking, the mix thickens the sauce and makes it creamy. Sounds like a plan. But I will definitely do this again.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

My Little Lepruchan!

He performs magic and disappears into his hat!

It's now time for a little non-cancer fun!

It's all we've been thinking about... but everyday life still goes on. And here is a sample of what we've been up to lately.

He's grown up so Quickly! When we got back from the hospital last week (3/7) Weston went for a test drive while we unloaded the car. (Don't worry, I was right next to him in the passenger seat.)

Then last Saturday (3/13), we were once again in Iowa City:SpeedRacer! Weston drove the Sprint car in the Coralville mall... except he hated it once it started moving. So, he got out PDQ.

Weston rode the Dragon with his Daddy at the Carousel at the mall. He first tried a Zebra and then a Stallion, but he didn't like them, and he cried. He loved the Dragon and laughed and had such a good time on the Carousel. Best $1 spent. Ever. Weston in his gown so his MieMie can hold him at the hospital. He was such a good boy Saturday. We ended up pinning the gown up, and it looked like a wedding dress bustle in the front!

Weston and MieMie!
He improved her spirits that day. They read Green Eggs and Ham together and cuddled. It made my day. And Mom's too.

Life...

So my mom has cancer. Leukemia to be exact. I have become a child of cancer.

More appropriately, I have become my mother. 

My Grandma Stahl was diagnosed with Multiple Myoloma (a rare blood cancer similar to ALL) in 1982, she was almost 60 years old. She was given a prognosis of 6 months. She lived until 1989, when she died at the age of 66, just like her mother before her. I remember our trips to Iowa City for Grandma's visits with Dr. MacFarland. I remember holding her hand while she had her chemo. I remember walking these very same halls with her. I remember my mom and my aunt taking care of her when she was too weak to take care of herself. I remember my mom telling us of the funny things Grandma said. But everything I remember, I remember through the eyes of a child. Innocent, jaded by the pain of her loss, over 20 years later.

Flash Forward 20 years. I am 30 years old. My mom is 62 years old. I talk to my mom every single day. Just like she did with her mom. It seems natural, normal. I know that this isn't always the case. But there it is... I am so like my mom in so many ways. We're social on the outside, nowhere as close to being as self-c0nfident on the inside. We are sharp-tongued, and as equally sharp-witted. And we love with a loyalty and a fierceness unrecognizable to most. We are selective in our friends, but we keep our friends for life. Who can say that they have benn friends with someone more than half their life? Not too many I am afraid.

So, my mom was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocitic Leukemia with a Positive Philadelphia chromosome. This makes her 50-50 chance much more difficult to fight. She is covered in bruises from failed IV attempts and holding and bumping against things. Everyday she receives blood transfusions. Most days she receives platelets too. They tried to do a lumbar puncture today to drain some spinal fluid and to replace that amount with Chemo. It's important that they keep the cervical areas clear of cancer. This procedure did not work. After over 2 hours of being poked and prodded, they returned her to us in her room. She will now need a port placed in her head to access the fluid around the brain. A neurosurgeon will place the poet and her dr will administer the chemo directly to her brain. This should work. And it will occur in 10-14 days.

I am now a child of cancer. My mom could die from this. Or from  simple infection. She is on constant meds and right now is asleep - talking about all sorts of things (her neighbors, the Smiths and the Oranges are getting married. Weston needs new shoes... it goes on and on. We are leaving for home tomorrow and I'm not sure of my emotions regarding cancer. It has robbed me of so much, and now it is trying to do it again. I am hurt, scared and angry. And I need to find a way to cope.

Confirmed Diagnosis

Mom has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. It's not good. Here are the details:

Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL)

ALL is the most common pediatric cancer; it also strikes adults of all ages. Malignant transformation and uncontrolled proliferation of an abnormally differentiated, long-lived hematopoietic progenitor cell results in a high circulating number of blasts, replacement of normal marrow by malignant cells, and the potential for leukemic infiltration of the CNS and abdominal organs. Symptoms include fatigue, pallor, infection, and easy bruising and bleeding. Examination of peripheral smear and bone marrow is usually diagnostic. Treatment typically includes combination chemotherapy to achieve remission, intrathecal chemotherapy for CNS prophylaxis and/or cerebral irradiation for intracerebral leukemic infiltration, consolidation chemotherapy with or without stem cell transplantation, and maintenance chemotherapy for 1 to 3 yr to avoid relapse.

Two thirds of all ALL cases occur in children, with a peak incidence at age 2 to 5 yr; ALL is the most common cancer in children and the 2nd most common cause of death in children < age 15. A 2nd rise in incidence occurs after age 45.

Prognosis
Prognostic factors help determine treatment protocol and intensity.

Favorable prognostic factors are
· Age 3 to 7 yr
· WBC count < 25,000/μL
· French-American-British (FAB) L1 morphology
· Leukemic cell karyotype with > 50 chromosomes and t(12;21)
· No CNS disease at diagnosis

Unfavorable factors are
· A leukemic cell karyotype with chromosomes that are normal in number but abnormal in morphology (pseudodiploid)
· Presence of the Philadelphia (Ph) chromosome t(9;22)
*** waiting for results on this***
· Increased age in adults
· B-cell immunophenotype with surface or cytoplasmic immunoglobulin

Regardless of prognostic factors, the likelihood of initial remission is ≥ 95% in children and 70 to 90% in adults. About 75% of children and 30 to 40% of adults have continuous disease-free survival for 5 yr and appear cured. Imatinib Some Trade Names GLEEVECClick for Drug Monograph improves outcome in patients with Ph chromosome–positive ALL. Most investigatory protocols select patients with poor prognostic factors for more intense therapy, because the increased risk of and toxicity from treatment are outweighed by the greater risk of treatment failure leading to death.

Treatment
· Chemotherapy
· Sometimes stem cell transplantation or radiation therapy

The 4 general phases of chemotherapy for ALL include
· Remission induction
· CNS prophylaxis
· Postremission consolidation or intensification
· Maintenance

Day 2 in the ICU

Mom's kidney functions have improved overnight. The doctors did a CAT Scan at 2am to make sure that there weren't pockets of infection or masses in her body. She came through that clear. They have given her transfusions of pure platelets again and whole blood. She is on constant pain medication as well as other things. the bone marrow biopsy is on hold. they can diagnose the type of leukemia with the additional blood work that they have taken from the Central line port in her neck. If she chooses to be part of a research study this afternoon they will then schedule a bone marrow biopsy.
Right now she will be in the hospital for 4-6 weeks undergoing chemotherapy, etc.
We will know this afternoon exactly what she has, and what the plans will definitely be. Schedules will have to be made. rotations decided. everything is up in the air now.