In the Land of... Erin: "You are paying for your friends"

My wedding, October 30, 2004.
Katie, April, Me, Marci, Brandy and Melissa representing Chi Omega Sisterhood.

When I started Drake in August of 1998, I was the loneliest I had been in my entire life. I went to high school with my roommate, I had friends on the floor, but it wasn't the same. I missed my real friends. I missed my family. I was so alone I almost left Drake. I almost ran back to Clinton. Back to my sister, back to my mom.

But... Sarah Veierstahler, who worked with me at the D-Shoppe, and was a Rho-Chi (Rush guide basically), convinced me to Rush for a Sorority. Crazy, I know. No one understood what I was doing, or why. But honestly, it just felt right. So, I did. It was an amazing experience, one I still remember in detail to this day. (But if you ask my friends... I remember everything.) I pledged only one house. I wanted only one house. And I told myself if I didn't get in... well, then I had fun, but that was that. Obviously, I was offered a bid from Chi Omega. And I of course accepted. I dressed in my red clothes and rushed out of the Olmsted Center to meet my new sisters. Future friends who had chosen me as much as I had chosen them. And found my already friend Sarah, wearing her red waiting with the party.

When I returned to Clinton for the October break (Drake has a 4 day weekend called Fall Break) my friends from Clinton asked all sorts of questions. Mainly... Why? I was not the sorority type, was I? It didn't make sense. Our friend Chris was the instigator of most of these questions. He kept saying, "You're paying for your friends. Are they really your friends?"

I joined a sisterhood. I found a place to belong. I found a family and sisters at Drake. Without the acceptance and love of these women, I would have left Drake behind. Deep in my heart, I know this. Everything that has happened in my life, every decision that has been made to keep my head above water, happened because I was asked and I said Yes. Scott, Weston, my job... all of the decisions that led me on the path to my family began with my choice to Belong. I paid monthly dues. I got another job. I moved into the House my sophomore year. I worked a lot to pay dues plus living expenses. Yes, I paid to belong to Chi Omega. But I got more out of this than I paid for. And Chris Swales... we aren't really friends anymore. He got married about 8 years ago... and he fell off the earth. But the Chi Os? We've been friends for 12 years. I have a close-knit circle of Chi O's, 4 plus myself. These women have been present in every important moment of my adult life. More physically present (since most of us live in Des Moines) and just as emotionally present as my 3 best friends from high school. I can fall back into my old self with these 7 women as easily as I can with my family. There are no pretenses or judgment, just history and laughter. The 4 of us Chi O's still in Des Moines try to get together once a month. Usually Weston or one of Jayme's 3 children tag along... it's just the way it is as you grow up.

I'm the baby in this group of friends. They were all a year ahead of me. It was nice being the baby somewhere. My wedding 5 1/2 years ago was the last Chi O wedding in our group. Until this summer. April is getting married on June 26th to a great guy. April was gone my first semester at Drake, she was at Basic Training for the National Guard. She returned just in time for our Initiation. And we were initiated together. I thought she was stuck up. She thought I was a snooty bitch. It took about a year in a half - we bonded as Rho Chi's for the Fall 2000 Rush, bonded over our house closing before that Rush, bonded over a horrible Religion class - and she is my closest Chi O Friend. I love her dearly. My son loves her. And now she's getting married! We celebrated her upcoming wedding this weekend with dinner at our spot (El Rodeo on Douglas) with Brandy, and later Fisher (Melissa); and then with April's Bridal Shower on Saturday. We were all there. And it was so much fun! I am so lucky to have these 4 women in my life. I may have "paid" for my friends, but I am the one reaping all of the rewards. It was so worth it!