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it's been a while... April is gone, and May is on it's way out too.

Sorry that it's been so long.

Let's put it this way, you know it's been a while when my sister asks when I am going to blog again. :(

I'd blame Facebook, and while that's partly true, it's not exactly true. I just haven't had any urge to be on the computer. I'll be doing something or just sitting somewhere and a great blog idea will come to me, and I'll be working it out in my head for while. Then when I'm ready to put it into words or start writing or whatever you want to call it, I just can't bring myself to get onto the computer. I have this fabulous little netbook that I used to be so in love with. Absolutely in love with. And on occasion, I am still in love with it. I love that I can use it in bed or at a campground if I choose. But, after spending all day on the computer at work, the last thing I want to do is "work" at home. I even Facebook on my phone to avoid the computer. (Though if you ask my sister, it's because I am a "tech-whore." Her words, not mine.) So, that's my reason - I hate acting like work at home. Freud it all you want, I generally feel the same about work too.

I heard about a study on the news a while ago... you live longer if you like the people that you work with. I love the people that I work with. It's the reason that I have stayed here even though times are so bad that I have nightmares about this place. I spend 9 hours a day around these people, and I truly like them all and love some of them. (Just some, not all.)So... what's been going on in the Land of Erin?

Weston turns 3 in about 10 weeks. I've reserved the room for his birthday party and need to work on the invites so I can get RSVPs since it's a pool party. Underwater theme. Something different than Cars or trains. And speaking of, Weston is very much into CARS 2 and Thomas the Train, and suddenly Curious George. He's getting to the point of being a little mouthy and definitely a toddler. He seems to be eating rarely, though if he's hungry, it's a thunderstorm of "Mom!!!!" But he's such a "little boy" now. Oh, and he's in love with babies.

Which brings on our next topic. Baby #2. It's not that we don't want another baby. We very much do. It's the affordability of another baby. Can I afford over $500 every 2 weeks for daycare? And where would we put it? And will my job work with me? Will my job still be here??? So many concerns. But I am definitely feeling the baby fever. Scott is feeling it. And Weston? Well, if you ask him, he says no. He has Baby Elle (our friends' little girl) and he's good with her.

And on the note of another baby... I was standing next to my husband the other day, and I was pretty close. I was shocked to see that without shoes that I barely come up to his shoulders. And it made me blush. Sometimes the way Scott looks at me reminds of when we started dating and I just giggle. Yes, girlish little giggles. I wish I could have more of these moments. I wish that Scott and I could have more of these moments together. I loved how we were at the very beginning. In the "new" time. I loved how we were when I was pregnant and just after Weston was born. We were so good as a couple. We were so loving. Now... we're tired. Constantly tired. I think it's mostly my fault. I'm so stressed lately. And I've been battling some wicked spring headaches. But in general, I'm quiet. I've got so much going on in my head, that I just don't want anything coming out of my mouth. So I don't say anything. But I am trying. During those "good times" I noticed something... we touched. A lot. Nothing naughty, well not all the time, but in general. He'd play with my hair, I'd lean into him on the couch, we'd hold hands. So, I am trying to do that. I want to do that. It's an effort that I can make. And I think it's helping. It makes me happier. And anything that does that is a good thing, right?

So... the last thing on this agenda is Mom. You've been waiting the whole time for this part, right? Mom is doing... AMAZING!!! She is getting so much stronger! Her numbers are great and the bone marrow donated by that young man has taken control! What a wonderful young man!!! (We joke that all Mom ever needed was a Young Man inside her!!! tee-hee!!!)

So, that's it now. This is already long enough. Any topics you'd like me to reflect on next?

Have you seem our Eagles???

Well... ok, Decorah's Eagles. But Still, Iowa. Check this out!!!

unFriending

In this socially conscious world, is the death of a friendship marked by the "unFriending" of someone on Facebook?

I haven't seen The Social Network, but if you have... is the answer in there? Does the mini-Mark Zuckerburg tell us how to end a friendship for all the world to see?


Remember when you were a kid? When someone hurt your feelings, you told your Mom and they either called the other kid's mom or they said to let it go. And when you let it go, what did that mean? They were no longer invited over to your house for play dates and birthday parties. And then... it was over. Frienship ended. For about 5 seconds, because then the mean kid became a nice kid who shared their Fruit Rollup with you. And suddenly you're friends again.


Remember middle and high school? I have diaries detailing the fights that made up these 7 years. Your "group" starts out as 15 or so girls... it grows and shrinks over time. Someone told a secret or stole a boyfriend while at the skating rink, and suddenly the group is divided on sides. Fractured from the whole for a lot longer than elementary school. Then high school starts and suddenly the groups are merged and split again, mainly based on class load and interests. And while there's fighting, it's more mature. And a lot more devious. Think Gossip Girl without all the money, clothes, and grand scale. Same thoughts and plans on a much smaller stage. I mean seriously, in the 90s... the worse think I could think to call someone was a slut. And even then I would feel guilty that my mom whould find out. But... once fractured, high school friendships didn't generally grow back together. If anything, the divide grew larger and more definite until graduation. Your parents wonder what happened to that girl who practically lived here every weekend, and no matter how you explained what happened, they don't get it.


College friendships tend to last. Maybe it's the fact that the most growing up you do emotionally is from 18-25. And it's your college friends, and the ones you've kept since high school that grow with you. These are your first "adult" friends.


And this brings me to Facebook.
I refused to join this thing in the beginning. It seemed too young. Something my sister was doing in high school, and I was so past High School. (Yes, with capital letters.) So, I didn't joing Facebook until 2008 or 2009, after my son was born, and my sorority friends were dragging me (kicking and screaming) into the era of the social network. And suddenly I was "friends" with over 200 people! People I knew from elementary school and on. And it was like we've always been friends. I knew their stories, and they followed mine. It was like they cared with 100 or so characters. It was almost as good as my high school reunion. I was a mediocre follower for a while. I posted pictures and commented a few times, but after a while, I became addicted. I followed my "friends," I played a game or 2, I commented on a million things a day. And I started trying to post things to see what people would say. Facebook has come in handy, especially when I need parenting advice or general questions answered. But I think it also has a way of de-socializing us too. My sister calls me a "Facebook Whore" or "Post Whore" saying that I am being antisocial by being on my new iPhone while we're together, constantly checking Facebook. Part of me thought about giving it up for Lent. Then I realized that I am not Catholic, so I don't have to give anything up. (Yep... addicted.)
Anyway, desocialization by Facebook: So, we feel like we're super involved in our friends' lives because we read their posts and see their pictures... it's like we're always there. But we're not. Not really. And after a while, when you think about it, you realize that you haven't seen your friend in almost 6 months. And they don't seem to realize it either. And suddenly it's like you don't even know each other. And then a FB post is taken the wrong way (like a text message, but don't get me started on Text Wars.) and the next thing you know, you haven't seen any posts for a while. And when you go looking, you can find this friend amongst your friends. And when you search all of FB for them... you discover that you are no longer "friends." You have 2 mutual friends (did they unfriend other people as well?) but that's it.
Not Friends.
Unfriended.
The end of a 6 year relationship.
With the click of a button.
Is this what our society has come to?
(I hope not.)

design?

So what do you think of the new design? The background, header, and font changes... do you like?
I needed a change and decided to focus more on me. Is that selfish? I just figured that this was my blog, so it should reflect me today. And I love pin-up girls and the style of days gone by. I especially liked this Art Deco design... the colors are a little too gold, but I liked the rest so much that I ran with it. I am going to try to blog more and Facebook less. Facebook has become highly addictive. Ok... so I am somewhat addicted. I am by no means as addicted as my Aunt in Texas who plays Mafia and Vampire Wars all hours of the day and night. I'm not sure what's going on there... I'd have to join one of her games to probably find out.

Well, if you are reading this, let me know what you think of the design. I'm interested and Vain enough to want to know. :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

It's been a while, I know. I feel like I haven't spent a weekend at home since the 1st of the year when we were sort of, but not really, snowed in. Weston has been gone so often that when I picked him up from daycare, I found him on a play cell phone talking to our cats, Fiona and Nola, and telling them that he'd see them Thursday. It was a Monday. :)
It's been a big 6 weeks of 2011 so far. We've had new babies born. And Mom is recovering nicely from her Stem Cell transplant. She was able to leave the hospital about 10 days ago. She needs to eat more and take her meds better. And then there is the depression... but it takes time. And thankfully we now seem to have some.

This is Weston with our friends Dee & Eric's daughter, Elle. Elle was born on January 27th. And Weston got to see her at just under 30 mins old! And he was in love. In this picture, Elle is 3 days old and Weston is already holding her! It feels so good to have friends who love my son so much to include him in their happiness. That day... he really seemed like a Big Brother. And it gave me so many ideas and put so many thoughts into my head. But then, last Thursday (2/10) we were at the Mall and Weston was just awful. So hyper, running everywhere, just plain embarrassing. I actually told him that this was the Reason he is an only child. That if he were a good boy, we'd think about giving him a brother or sister, but naughty boys don't get these. I can't believe I said this to my little boy. In general, he's a good kid. He's happy and talkative. And I've been spoiled by him for so long, that it's taking me a little while to get going on the punishment thing. Time Outs have been effective so far, but hard to handle when he refuses. But I am doing my best to stick to my guns.
Other friends of ours had a daughter at the beginning of the month. I haven't met her yet. They do not want small children around her, and I am always with my toddler. They think he'll get her sick. Funny thing is... they're breastfeeding. Babies have the best immune system for the first 3 months of their lives, more so when breastfed. But... whatever. It's their choice. But I am going to say it: it hurts being shut out like this. I begged to see their daughter multiple times each week for the first 3 weeks of her life. I was denied each time. There was always some excuse: family visiting, plans, does Weston have a cold? It made no sense. So I stopped asking during weeks 4 and 5. Just gave up. And it hurt. Her father was a huge part of my life. He was a part of Weston's life too. He visited in the hospital, was there the day he came home, the years after. So... to be so excluded when we discussed visiting the week before she was born... just plain hurts. Today I asked again if I could meet this little baby. And was told again that there is family visiting. I reminded him that I know this family, would it be ok to stop by? And I was told that he would get back to me. Crack~ another piece of my heart breaks. I must be a masochist when it comes to friends. Anyway... I guess I am forced to watch this baby grow up on Facebook. And I will never really meet her. It seems absurd.
*** In Response to this post, proving he still reads it (ha!), this beautiful little girl is not breastfed, she is bottle fed. And her doctor warned them about RSV... so they are being extremely cautious. Ok. I understand that. I was wrong about the feeding methods. But what about me? Why the evasive behavior when I want to visit? Also, he mentioned that I haven't shown interest in our friendship over the last year. Ok, I am the only one who started any conversations on getting together. So, that would mean that I have shown a lot of interest. But, they were always busy, and we were out of town a lot. My Mom was sick and almost dying for most of 2010. That takes a lot of time. Sorry we couldn't be more accommodating.
So, today is Valentine's Day. I used to hate this day with a passion. (About the only excitement that I ever experienced on Valentine's Day was the 5th grade when my box won for the best decorated and Nicole Cronk's mom brought us Ice Cream Sundaes for our class party.) I never had a boyfriend between Halloween and V-day. All of my favorite holidays. Until my husband that is. And he has certainly tried over the years to make this a day to remember. Today, he did a very good job. This year, I told my husband that I didn't want a card or anything. I just wanted to make dinner for him and Weston. But I did get him a box of Chocolate Turtles. And he came home with these potted Mini Yellow Roses for me to take to work. And they are beautiful. He said that he hopes they brighten my days at work. (I am thinking he thinks it will help at home too.) I am guessing it's no secret that the Yellow Rose of Texas had an influence of my favorite color of rose. Scott and my Dad have both been sending me yellow roses for years. These are just like little balls of Sunshine on my desk. I hope I can keep them healthy and alive. I made Weston a valentine and we got him a small present, so I hope he enjoys that later.
My little man wants Pizza tonight, so he gets his wish! Party pizza for Weston. I am making Scott and I fillets with Garlic Mashed Potatoes and sauteed green beans. I think he'll be happy.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day with someone to love!!!!

Mom update

Mom is doing as well as can be expected. She is exhausted this week. This is the week that all of the Chemo side effects present themselves. She is also having multiple shots into her stomach to promote the regrowth of her immune system. These shots are normal after chemo, but they hurt a lot. And they bring down her moral a bit.
But other than that, she's doing pretty good. She's walking and riding the stationary bike as often as she is able.

yea!!!