the Man who loves Me

5 years ago I posted about my marriage to Scott. What I said then holds true today:

Scott and I are at our best, especially to each other, when we are alone, or with Weston. It's just so much easier when it's just us. :) He's one of the few people I can be completely honest with, or completely silent with. And he makes me laugh. And when I'm with him, I always feel pretty. He makes me feel pretty. And he is one of the Best Dads I've ever seen.

October 30, 2004

So, my Greatest Loves have taken longer than the month of February. And that's ok, because they are my loves, and this is my writing, and the most important thing is that I am writing them at all. So, onto my Greatest Love #4:

I've been looking through previous posts, all the way back to the beginning and it's funny - I've never posted the story on how Scott and I met. It's a doozie too. It was told at our wedding, and at a variety of other places. Not really child appropriate, so I'll have to make it nicer for Weston. Or he can read it here and be completely embarrassed – there are advantages to both. ;)

Our 3rd Anniversary photos
Nov. 10, 2007
Weston's conception day

Scott and I met through friends, but it wasn’t their intention for us to be together. June 28 2002, my friend Jess brought me home with her to Aurelia, Iowa, to meet her husband’s friend Dan the Cop (and celebrate her brother Andy’s birthday.) Dan was built and in need of a good girl to love him. Suffice it to say, Dan never showed that weekend, but I did meet the husband’s friends, including Scott, a few times at the bar in Cherokee. He kept giving me this doe-eyed look and smiling at me. A month later I was in Cherokee for a high school friend’s wedding to a girl from that area. I was also invited to a wedding for one of the people I had met the previous month. So, I stopped by the second wedding around 8pm, assuring my friends I’d be back soon. (They didn’t see me until after midnight, and it was back at our hotel.) When I walked into the reception, Scott was in a tux (as the best man) and dancing holding the flower girl (and daughter of the bride, Sammie.) My heart melted. As another groomsman bought me a drink, I hung out with Jess waiting for Scott to make his move, which took him forever (I think I had a few drinks.) Eventually he asked me to dance.  It was an awkward Middle School type dance, but it was a dance. And as I looked around, everyone was staring at us. I felt so uncomfortable, wondering why they were laughing at me. (I found out a month later that they were laughing at the fact that Scott asked someone/anyone to dance – apparently that was a first for him.) Immediately after that dance he left with the bridal party to kidnap the bride and groom and take them to various local bars (a completely rude custom if you ask me.) So, Jess and I were bored, and we wandered a bit. We helped the bride and groom escape to their vehicle, and then we went in search of the men. Two bars later, we found Scott and Jess’ husband sharing a pitcher of beer. And Scott was rubbing some… slut’s (because I can call her that, though her name is Amanda) feet. I gave her and him one look and walked away. Not 2 minutes had passed and Scott had dropped her nasty feet on the table and join Jess and I. Then her husband followed (he had the beer, and probably had to make some excuse to Amanda for Scott.) 

Weston's 1st birthday pictures
July 31, 2009

Scott’s looking at me while I am talking to Jess’ husband and Jess has left to talk to someone else. (In Cherokee, almost everyone knows everyone else from the 3 surrounding towns.) Next thing I know, Scott is kissing me! And not just a quick kiss, but the mind-blowing kind that wipes everything else from the earth. (I want it to be known that I have been searching for that same kiss from Scott for the last 9+ years.) Somewhere in the middle of this kiss (it was that long) my brain clicks back on, and I start freaking out about everyone watching. And then I remember… this is Cherokee, Ia. I know 5 people in this town. I never have to come back here. And I just go with it. I didn’t know that Jess was hyperventilating through the door in the next room telling everyone that her best friend was making out with “Jonesy;” and that her husband was dying in shock and laughter at the table with us. (Suffice it say, this spectacle was completely uncharacteristic of me on So Many Levels.) I don’t remember much after that except I eventually made it back to the Super 8 in Cherokee, and crawled up the middle of the bed, between Anousha and Sue. I was giggling and super overexcited (I freaked out that the tie on my dress was a bug on my shoulder) and completely sober. I told them everything. I laughed till I cried. It was one of the best nights of my life. The next morning, Anousha and I went out to Jess’ mom’s house for a bbq and Scott was there. And it was sweet. And awkward. Jess and I drove Scott back to his mom’s and I was in the back seat with him. Jess loves to repeat our conversation as heard from the front:
“I had really good time last night.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Repeat for the next 10 miles, or what felt like it I’m sure. She tells that part of the story much better.

September 9, 2011

Scott and I became official in the middle of the night between August 3^rd and 4^th. If we celebrate it’s on whichever of those 2 days that fits our calendar best. I knew in October 2002 that if he asked me, I’d marry him. He proposed July 12, 2003, and we were married October 30, 2004.
He is the first man to make me feel desirable and loved. I’d had a boyfriend or 2 over the years. And enough crushes to now see what was missing. I desired (and loved a few of) these men. But they didn’t desire me. They didn’t love me enough, or the way I deserved to be loved. Scott has always made me feel beautiful. He has this way of looking at me that just makes my tummy flutter. And he makes me smile and laugh. He’s interested in what I have to say, he asks questions and now voices an opinion. He likes the same stuff that I do, or at least tolerates it. He is one of the kindest men I’ve ever known. He tries to take care of everyone around him. He understands me (most of the time.) He knows what I need, and generally tries to help me to get it. And he is a great father. He loves our son, and plays with him like he was never played with. Considering he really only had one male role model, he’s doing a great job as a dad!

We fight and argue like everyone else. We actually argue more in front of others. I said above that if we could be alone together all the time, it would be perfect. And I'm right, though it would be somewhat boring.  ;)  My sister says that a few people on Facebook think we have a great marriage. We don’t have a bad one, but it not great. Marriage is hard work, and you just can't walk away when it gets tough. I choose not to voice my issues with him over FB where his family and friends can see. But I will post every single fantastic thing he does. Because he deserves the praise. I take a lot of my frustrations and anger and sadness out on Scott. I have very little patience when I am running on those emotions, and I can’t stand to repeat myself or ask twice. And unfortunately Scott bears the weight of my emotions. I am not an easy woman to love, I know this. The fact that he has loved me for almost 10 years, says a lot about him, and us. Life hasn’t been easy for us. We’ve made mistakes, stupid mistakes. We’ve asked the wrong people for help. We could have easily blamed the other and broken apart. But we didn’t. We’ve stuck it out. And I think we are doing pretty well. We are a small, but mostly happy family who Love a lot. And love and happiness is what counts.

May 12, 2012